


Pull the trigger

by Letmefall



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst and Feels, Episode: s10e22 The Prisoner, Love Confessions, M/M, Parting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 00:48:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4414556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letmefall/pseuds/Letmefall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 10, Episode 22, alternate ending:</p><p>When Dean enters the Bunker, he meets Cas, takes his gun and... will he pull the trigger?</p><p>(spoiler: in this story no hunters nor angels have been physically harmed)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pull the trigger

They were past yelling at each other, past the anger.

Now there’s just silence hanging between them, screaming so damn loud that it’s driving Cas crazy.

He has always enjoyed the quiet moments with Dean where they were simply appreciating each other’s company.

But this silence felt entirely wrong. It felt like the calm after a hurricane, not yet quite over and not yet done with destroying everything that might get in its way. 

And maybe Cas waited for that storm, for the _real_ one to hit him, as he could see how Dean struggled in front of him, pacing around, not wanting to punch Cas but feeling the need to do _something_ to release his anger. To get rid of the everlasting tautness.

Maybe to satisfy the mark.

“Dean.” Cas whispered and for a little moment the angel considered that his voice hasn’t reached the way to the hunter’s ears. But as he watched how Dean took a deep breath and fetched something outside his pocket, Cas knew how wrong he was.

Dean held a gun.

Maybe it should scare the hell out of him.

And it did. Sort of.

Only it was not the fact that Dean was aiming at him with a gun.

In fact the terrifying thing was a thought that often came across the angel’s mind:

 _Trust_.

He trusted Dean. Simple as that. He trusted him enough not so shoot him, not to fulfill Cain’s prophecy.

“Don’t Dean-me when I’m about to kill you.” Dean said, wearing a cold look on his face.

“You won’t.” Cas responded, almost taking a step towards Dean. But the Winchester flinched back and the angel held still, not wanting to make Dean leave. Never wanting to make the hunter leave as they’ve been separated far too often to Cas’ taste.

“But I may and probably will. You’re still just a baby in a trenchcoat like I said years ago if you’re still dumb enough to believe in me.” Dean almost smiled but there’s too much sadness in his eyes and too much worry in his muscles to master the movement.

Now it was Cas’ turn to be amused. He chuckled silently before catching Dean’s gaze.

“I prefer the term _trusting_ once more. Yes, Dean, I have faith in you and every time you’re about to give up, I won’t let you. Even if you are taking aim at me. Every time you’re hiding from Sam and me, I will find you. I won’t let you.”

“So if I’m pulling the trigger now, you won’t sidestep?”

“You are welcome to try, Dean.” Cas nodded, looking so damn serious that Dean‘s whole body tensed and was gripping the gun tighter.

Then there was a muted _Tock_.

Dean unlocked the gun, staring right through Cas and the angel startled a second time since he dared to say that – right now, at that moment - he came to understand the logic of love.

Oh it was _wonderful_ as he recognized that he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry or sing or sob. But what he did know was that he wanted to laugh or cry or sing or sob _with Dean_. So the angel just smiled and waited patiently for Dean’s next move.

That never came in the way Cas expected.

“Dammit Cas! Me too okay? _Me too_! I’m so damn sorry!”

Cas tilted his head in confusion right before he heard the _Bang_ and realized the circle of holy fire he was suddenly surrounded by.

Cas tried to get out but it was a losing game. He should have paid more attention to his environment. Then he would have noticed the trap.

“Dean-” Cas began but Dean stepped closer, standing close behind the flames and Cas had the silly fear that Dean could get burnt and hurt himself.

 _Foolish_. Yes. But so was love.

“No Cas. You won’t follow me. I don’t want to get you hurt or worse so I’ve got to get away from you as far as possible. I know you love me and you have to know that I love you even more.

Moreover you got to have faith that in another life we live happily ever after. We maybe get an apple-pie-life. Have lazy days. Go out on dates. Perhaps get married. Adopt a bunch of kids. Grow old together. Maybe we could live this dream.

But not in this universe.

In this place we are damned. In this universe you are broken by me and I am the one to pull the trigger and put up walls to separate us in order to keep us alive. That’s unfair and sick, but that’s it. Nothing we could change about. You gotta accept that.  
”  
“Dean, you need to have faith!” Cas almost yelled.

Has he ever been more desperate? There was an ache in his chest that got worse with every inch Dean got further away from the flames. That he got further away from _him_.

_Oh, father, please, don’t let him go. Don’t… I need him… don’t let me lose him…_

“No, Cas. This is not a _goodbye_ , this is farewell.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was also posted on my tumblr (http://catstiel-and-deano.tumblr.com/post/118890801819/trigger)
> 
> You can leave comments and kudos and everything else below :-)
> 
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End file.
